I just wanted to write this blog to clear up any misconceptions about me. I am very aware that a lot of people have different thoughts about me ranging from good to bad. So, to the people who have either neutral or negative thoughts about me, I can’t blame you for thinking that way. I know I’m not the easiest person to get to know. To some people, I come off as shy, quiet, reserved, and monotone. But, to other people, I come off as exuberant, witty, full of jokes, and very talkative. All I can say concerning this is that I do everything for a reason. Take it how you want to.
The reason I may come off as shy and quiet to the new people in my life stems from my upbringing. Let me ask you this question. Have you ever been talked about or laughed at for doing the right thing? This has happened to me quite often in my childhood. As many of you know, my father is a preacher and my mother is a missionary for the Church of God in Christ. I have been brought to live a life that is holy and acceptable toward Christ. That’s not to say I’m perfect because we all make mistakes from time to time. I fight my personal demons on a daily basis. But this is just to say I don’t do certain things. I don’t smoke, drink, go to clubs and parties, curse, or part take in fornication. But that’s not the reason I’m quiet. The reason I’m quiet is because many people have talked about for the way I act. I have been constantly persecuted by people and I have held my peace for the longest. So, as a child, I would just close my mouth and say nothing to avoid giving people a reason to talk about me. I don’t care what people say, words have power and they can hurt from time to time. Very few people know how it feels to have people try to make you curse by trying to get you to say such words as Garbage or Astronaut. Some people can be so cruel. That makes it hard to trust people and that’s why I’m kinda quiet when I meet new people.
Well, this quiet conditioning has stayed with me up to now by me closing my mouth for so long. Now I know plenty of you are saying “People will always say things, you just have to look past that.” The problem is that most of the people who would say some of these cruel things to me were my so-called friends. All I could to is just smile and pass it off. But, deep inside, this stuff eats me up on a daily basis. What most people don’t know about me is that All of my friends are 150% different from me. That’s why I believe that none of my friends consider me their best friend. Again, I can he you people say “People are going to be different, that’s how God made people.” But, most of you can admit that you and your best friend, ride or die partner have some similar qualities. I can’t say I have that type of friend in my life right now. Now, that’s not to say my friends are horrible people because they are wonderful people and I love them to death. But, I’m just stating the facts and if they look back at it, they can find the truth in my statement.
As for some of the weird statements I have made on my Facebook status, I just want to say this. When I said that I was tired of being lied to and that some of my friends have decided to kick me out of their lives, I was sending direct shots at one particular person. Chances are that person will not read this post because they are too busy trying to keep a cool status with people who will eventually bring that person down. I will not reveal that person’s name because unlike that person, I actually care for the people who help me get to where I’m at. I don’t want to go too far into the situation, but I do want to say this. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. When people tell me that they are going to do something, I expect them to do it or at least give me an explanation as to why they didn’t do it. It doesn’t feel good when the only time a person calls you is when they need something. I’ve been used enough in high school, and I’m not about to go that route again. I expected this from other people, but not from you.
So to the new people I’ve met this past year or to the people I’ve met but very seldom get to see you face, this is me in a nutshell. I know this isn’t everything. So, if you want to know more, just ask. I may come off as shy and disinterested, but I’m not. I’m actually a cool person once you get to know me. And if there are any other questions, I will gladly answer them in my next blog.
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