One thing that I love to do, more than anything in life, is observe my surroundings. One of the things that I couldn’t help but notice, while observing, is all the failed attempts at marriage. It seems no one wants to honor the vows that they take on that great wedding day. I guess people just get married for the wedding. While thinking about the possible reasons for the divorce, I have managed to narrow it down to three. Now, before you judge me on the topics, make sure you read my explanations. If you are willing to think for yourself and not let society think for you, you will be able to see where I’m coming from.
3. High Expectations
When I say high expectations, I view it in two ways. People have high expectations for the marriage and high expectations for their mate. First let me get to the high expectations for the marriage. For some strange reason people believe that marriage is the same way in real life as it is portrayed in a fairytale. People tend to think that there aren’t any conflicts when you get married and everything goes smoothly. I’m sorry to tell you this, but marriage is like a job. There are good days and there are bad days. And unless you love it, you will be bored for the rest of your life. Marriage is more than just the wedding and honeymoon. You have the days that follow the wedding in honeymoon. There are going to be some days when life is pressing you down and your marriage will seem as if it is going down. But, if you are able to get past all those days, it can only make your marriage better.
Now, let me get to the high expectations that mates put on each other. Men and women think too highly of their opposite sex. Most times some women think that their man can do no wrong and visa versa. This feeling is often caused by a smokescreen and that smokescreen is called infatuation. Now I know many of you believe that it is love that makes them feel this way, but I beg to differ. See, love helps you look past a person’s differences. People in love learn to deal with another person’s flaws. That is what makes love so special. On the other hand, when a person fails to notice those flaws, they are caught up into another person’s looks. That’s why I say it is infatuation and many couples get caught in this trap. They marry a person just because that person looks good and forget to see if that person is a good listener, a good provider, or if the person is willing to compromise. Marrying a person based on looks only leads to turmoil. Remember, you have to live with this person everyday of your life. And once you get to know that person, many things start to change. All of a sudden they realize that the person they married is not on a good level emotionally. Now, you are left with basically a human statue. By that I mean, the person is pretty on the eyes but doesn’t do anything else.
2. Sex Before Marriage
Before you get mad and start to think that I am just an angry Christian trying to force religion on you, hear me out. I’m going to try to explain this in a way where common sense is the main factor. Just think about this for a second. When you have sex before marriage, it leads to several problems.
First off, if you marry a person just because the sex is good, you have to realize something. You are not in love with that person; you are in love with the sex you get from that person. Sex only lasts for a moment and then it’s over. So you are basically saying that you are willing to sacrifice a lifetime of happiness for a moment of satisfaction. Well, I have one question for you then. What are you going to do when the sex is over? You forget that there are 24 hours in a day. Sex, on average, lasts anywhere from a couple minutes to an hour. What are you going to do for the next 23 hours? You can’t have sex all the time because it will start to get old, especially with the same person. Sex doesn’t determine whether a person treats you right. There a plenty of men who abuse their wives and are good in the bed.
Secondly, sex before marriage doesn’t leave much to be desired once you get married. What are you going to look forward to on your honeymoon? You have seen your mate in action before so you already know what to expect. That’s no fun!!!! Plus, this eventually leads to the sex getting old really quick. That’s one of the worst things that can happen to a marriage. I’ve heard this analogy plenty of times when people try to defend this action. They normally say “How can you drive a car before you test drive it.” Well I have an analogy for you, “How can you enjoy a Christmas present on Christmas if you open it before Christmas.” You figure it out. But, getting back to the matter at hand, once the sex gets old, either your mate starts to act grumpy more or your mate starts to look other places for excitement. Next thing you know, divorce papers are on your desk waiting to be signed.
Finally, sex before marriage could lead to you marrying for the wrong reason. Just think what could happen if the woman gets pregnant while having sex? This could lead to two people marrying before they are ready just to make sure that their child has a mother and father who are together. But truth be told, that is not going to help that child much. Just think what that child has to go through on a daily basis. People wonder why some of these kids are so bad. Just put your self in that kid position. You have to grow up knowing that you are a mistake. It was never planned for you to be here. Just think how that child feels knowing that his or her mother cried tears of sorrow when she found out she was pregnant. That makes you want to rebel. Plus, once the rocky road of marriage hits the parents, it leads to more turmoil that has to be witnessed by the child.
1. I Before We
I have found out that the main reason why some marriages don’t last is because the people in the marriage refuse to sacrifice for the betterment of the relationship. Like I said before, marriage is like a job. With that being said, you have to sacrifice to make it work. You have to have tough skin when you decide to marry. There will be plenty of times where your mate will get under your skin so much that you will want to kill that person. It’s a fact. You may say how do you know so much about marriage, but not be involved in one. The reason why I am able to speak on this issue is because I have parents who have been married over 30 years. I have seen the good, the bad, and the ugly from them both. But, I can truly say that they love each other. They find a way to work through their many differences. My father doesn’t get his way all the time and my mother doesn’t get her way all the time; but they manage to find common ground most of the time. I’ve seen plenty of times where my mother had to get out the house and take a drive because she was so mad with my father. But, she always came back and they would kiss and make up. That’s what people have to be willing to do in their own marriage. Forget about Me and focus on We because in the end, your mate is all you got. Since you are going to be together for the rest of your life, you have to turn your relationship into a friendship. Times are going to get hard, so you will need that friend to have your back. Sure, there are going to be things that you don’t agree with in your marriage, but that’s life. This is what you signed up for. The vows said “For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health as long as you both shall live.” Those vows are not just meant to be said, but meant to be lived.
3. High Expectations
When I say high expectations, I view it in two ways. People have high expectations for the marriage and high expectations for their mate. First let me get to the high expectations for the marriage. For some strange reason people believe that marriage is the same way in real life as it is portrayed in a fairytale. People tend to think that there aren’t any conflicts when you get married and everything goes smoothly. I’m sorry to tell you this, but marriage is like a job. There are good days and there are bad days. And unless you love it, you will be bored for the rest of your life. Marriage is more than just the wedding and honeymoon. You have the days that follow the wedding in honeymoon. There are going to be some days when life is pressing you down and your marriage will seem as if it is going down. But, if you are able to get past all those days, it can only make your marriage better.
Now, let me get to the high expectations that mates put on each other. Men and women think too highly of their opposite sex. Most times some women think that their man can do no wrong and visa versa. This feeling is often caused by a smokescreen and that smokescreen is called infatuation. Now I know many of you believe that it is love that makes them feel this way, but I beg to differ. See, love helps you look past a person’s differences. People in love learn to deal with another person’s flaws. That is what makes love so special. On the other hand, when a person fails to notice those flaws, they are caught up into another person’s looks. That’s why I say it is infatuation and many couples get caught in this trap. They marry a person just because that person looks good and forget to see if that person is a good listener, a good provider, or if the person is willing to compromise. Marrying a person based on looks only leads to turmoil. Remember, you have to live with this person everyday of your life. And once you get to know that person, many things start to change. All of a sudden they realize that the person they married is not on a good level emotionally. Now, you are left with basically a human statue. By that I mean, the person is pretty on the eyes but doesn’t do anything else.
2. Sex Before Marriage
Before you get mad and start to think that I am just an angry Christian trying to force religion on you, hear me out. I’m going to try to explain this in a way where common sense is the main factor. Just think about this for a second. When you have sex before marriage, it leads to several problems.
First off, if you marry a person just because the sex is good, you have to realize something. You are not in love with that person; you are in love with the sex you get from that person. Sex only lasts for a moment and then it’s over. So you are basically saying that you are willing to sacrifice a lifetime of happiness for a moment of satisfaction. Well, I have one question for you then. What are you going to do when the sex is over? You forget that there are 24 hours in a day. Sex, on average, lasts anywhere from a couple minutes to an hour. What are you going to do for the next 23 hours? You can’t have sex all the time because it will start to get old, especially with the same person. Sex doesn’t determine whether a person treats you right. There a plenty of men who abuse their wives and are good in the bed.
Secondly, sex before marriage doesn’t leave much to be desired once you get married. What are you going to look forward to on your honeymoon? You have seen your mate in action before so you already know what to expect. That’s no fun!!!! Plus, this eventually leads to the sex getting old really quick. That’s one of the worst things that can happen to a marriage. I’ve heard this analogy plenty of times when people try to defend this action. They normally say “How can you drive a car before you test drive it.” Well I have an analogy for you, “How can you enjoy a Christmas present on Christmas if you open it before Christmas.” You figure it out. But, getting back to the matter at hand, once the sex gets old, either your mate starts to act grumpy more or your mate starts to look other places for excitement. Next thing you know, divorce papers are on your desk waiting to be signed.
Finally, sex before marriage could lead to you marrying for the wrong reason. Just think what could happen if the woman gets pregnant while having sex? This could lead to two people marrying before they are ready just to make sure that their child has a mother and father who are together. But truth be told, that is not going to help that child much. Just think what that child has to go through on a daily basis. People wonder why some of these kids are so bad. Just put your self in that kid position. You have to grow up knowing that you are a mistake. It was never planned for you to be here. Just think how that child feels knowing that his or her mother cried tears of sorrow when she found out she was pregnant. That makes you want to rebel. Plus, once the rocky road of marriage hits the parents, it leads to more turmoil that has to be witnessed by the child.
1. I Before We
I have found out that the main reason why some marriages don’t last is because the people in the marriage refuse to sacrifice for the betterment of the relationship. Like I said before, marriage is like a job. With that being said, you have to sacrifice to make it work. You have to have tough skin when you decide to marry. There will be plenty of times where your mate will get under your skin so much that you will want to kill that person. It’s a fact. You may say how do you know so much about marriage, but not be involved in one. The reason why I am able to speak on this issue is because I have parents who have been married over 30 years. I have seen the good, the bad, and the ugly from them both. But, I can truly say that they love each other. They find a way to work through their many differences. My father doesn’t get his way all the time and my mother doesn’t get her way all the time; but they manage to find common ground most of the time. I’ve seen plenty of times where my mother had to get out the house and take a drive because she was so mad with my father. But, she always came back and they would kiss and make up. That’s what people have to be willing to do in their own marriage. Forget about Me and focus on We because in the end, your mate is all you got. Since you are going to be together for the rest of your life, you have to turn your relationship into a friendship. Times are going to get hard, so you will need that friend to have your back. Sure, there are going to be things that you don’t agree with in your marriage, but that’s life. This is what you signed up for. The vows said “For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health as long as you both shall live.” Those vows are not just meant to be said, but meant to be lived.